The conversation
On my recent visit to banglore, I witnessed an interesting incident in Cafe Coffee Day, Brigade road. It was an animated conversation between a couple, who were, experiencing a kind of slump in their love, and a stranger. The whole talk was easily audible to anyone who put in a curious ear in that direction, and I had two!! This is what happened..
Scene -I
She : (with a red face)You know why im pissed of with u?!!U really wanna know that?!!!..U know what, i know u dont wanna know why im angry with u, and thts xactly why im so pissd off!!..
He : (in a surprised manner)what the hell does that mean?..
She : It means, u crazy motherfucker, that u dont care what i feel, u jus want a gal with looks to sit rite besides u, whom u can fuck, and throw insulting remarks with ur crazy out of the world theories, that only i fucking care to discuss!!....I am pissed off bcoz all u do is 'hear' me, not 'listen' to me, when we hav a talk, and then bombard me with all kinda shit that goes against my very fundamental faith in everythng i believ!!..U r never convinced at whatever argument i put thru, u never even care to give it a second thought....I am no stressball mister, which u can press when in trouble and then keep bouncing as n when u please..
He : (a more surprised tone)What are u talkin abt???!!
She : Exactly my point!!..
He : Are u , in any way, trying to say that i DO NOT consider u 'human'?..Coz if u r, u r so very wrong..I respect u, I consider ur body to be the most beautiful in this whole god damn world..I respect ur opinions, bt its just that u r so weak in justifying ur arguments, and u support them with only one supreme fact, "god"!!..And, when u come to think of it, U havnt even been able to convince me of ur almighty's presence too!!..I just want u to have a different perspective at the way u look at things..U look at a beautiful flower and u praise god, u wake up and thank god, u look outside and stand in awe of 'god's 'beauty..But, u dont know what, or who' god is!!..I just wanna show u the different side of the coin, the real side..I want u to wake up and absorb the warmth of the sun, and not be grateful to any supreme being, whoz existence in the first place is in dispute. I want u to look at me and not thank god or the stars for bringing me into ur life. Stars hav nthng to do wth it. They are a result of an 'explosion'!!, which has been scientifically proven. Does ur 'god' have a basic proof of his existence?..I know he doesnt. U know he doesnt. but u r just not ready to believ it. U were brainwashed by ur parents, by the ppl around u, by the ppl who wrote those supposedly 'holy books'..And mind u, they were the same ppl killing those who said the earth was round!!..
I just want u to think, logically!..
She : And what then..I think we have gone thru over and over again and all u hav done is shut me off, always..I dont wanna discuss it nemopre, coz im over it. I just want to te....(he interrupts)
He : When was the last time we ever had a decent conversation?
She : We never had one!..And u wanna know why?..Look at the mirror if u wanna know why..
Suddenly, he takes her to the restroom to their left. He closes the door behind her. I hear some noises, kinda moans, very vague though. they come out in roughly 10 minutes. She comes out first, angry as ever she was, a little less maybe, and takes her seat. He comes out later, stroking his misplaced hair back in position, in a very relaxed and slow manner.
He : See, the thing is, we are goin through a rough patch lately. I called you here to talk to u abt it and get us back to where we were, bcoz, I believe they were the best moments of my life, and urs too....Tell u what, I'll bring u sum coffee to wash ur anger down, and then we'll talk some sense then..I'll hav cappucino, What do u want?..
she : Fuck you!!
He : I'll bring u somethin chilled then, how abt kappi nirvana?..
She : Like i care!!
He : Kappi nirvana, it is then!!..I'll be right back..
(Enter stranger..)
Him : Lady, may i please sit down?..
(Now, this stranger was not above 40, well built, heavy accent, a dignified persona..he was reading 'love in the time of cholera', by gabriel garcia marquez)
(oh yes, one more thing, he was a tourist!! from russia i gues, his accent gave me that impression..oops, srry)
Him : i overheard ur heated conversation from there, with minimal efforts actually, and thought of dropping by to calm things down.
(the 'lady' was a mix between demi moore and catherine zeta jones, a lethal combo!!)
(I hated tht tourist, not bcoz i myself wanted to drop by and say hi to her, but bcoz he blocked my view of her 'bossom'..what lovely pair....it explained clearly why the guy didnt want to let go of her, well, thats what i think!!...and, with her red face and deep pink sensuous lips, she looked so damn hot!!..)
(..newyz..)
She : There isnt much to talk abt in this. He's at fault here , u know, but he wont give in until he reaches his grave..
Him : Then why are u still talkin him into it?..
She : I dont mind trying..
Him : Maybe i can try it out with u..
She : I dont mind, if u tell me why u wud want to do tht..
Him : I am a spiritualist. I am also a yoga instructor, back in russia(so I was right!!). And, i believe in god. Just like u do. I know you are right bcoz i've seen and observed things from closer than any man has ever done. Maybe i can help u and convince ur man.
She : Wow! Be my guest!!!..
(He enters. And, 'he' does have an apetite!!..He brings with him, a cappucino, a kappi nirvana, two chicken grilled sandwiches, with extra cheese, a doughnut the size of her assets, and a scoop of what looks like whipped cream with chocolate wafers!!)
He : I was feeling hungry too. Here's ur drink....and, may i help u mister?...I see tht u dont look like someone we know, and ur color suggests u dont know nebdy in this country altogether!!..How may i help u, and why are u sitting in my chair..
(She giggles, obviously amused at the man's polite murder..)
Him : I just thought i'd drop by n say hi to this beautiful lady, n u ofcourse. And for the record, I do know someone from this country. I learnt my profession here.
He : And what is ur profession anyway..
Him : I am a yoga instructor, in russia.
She : Will u sit down now smart pants, ofcourse, if ur FBI interrogation is over?!!
(He takes a chair from my booth ans sits down, moving the tourist a lil' bit. Enough for me to resume my 'gazing at u-know-wat'..I thanked the guy silently)
He : So, What is ur name mr. yoga instructor?..
Him : My name is Andrew, and that is all u need to know rite now.
She : Hey, why didnt I ask u for tht?!!..Neway, my name is kiran, and this Sidd..(He interrupts, again)..
He : Siddharth, and not very pleased to meet u.
(Now switching to the names..)
Andrew : I dont mind that. I dont see a reson why u shudnt, bt that's ok. I dont really care if u call me dick either!!..what i..
Siddharth : Then we'll call u dick..Suits me fine..
Kiran : Why dont u know when to shut up Sid!!..U continue Andrew, u were saying sumthng..
(I'll go with sid..i'll change andrew's name to dick..after all, he blocked my view, such a d***!!..)
Dick : Yes, ofcourse. So, siddharth, why dont u believ in god?..
Sid : (after weighing his reply)Ok, first of all, U call me 'siddharth'. I let only only those ppl call me 'Sid' who hav a hole and,I hav a permission to enter that hole. I suppose u dont hav the kind i want, so i dont care if u permit me or not. Its 'Siddharth' for u, plain n simple.
Kiran : How did i ever meet u?!!U r such a moron Sid..Look, this man's been kind enough to come up here and offer his presence as he thought he cud be of some help here. Atleast he's better than that silly guy over there whoz been doin nthng bt staring at my boobs the whole time.
(Shit!! she was talkng abt me! She was looking at me!!..Why am i still gazing at her ...?..Shit!shit!shit!...)
(I got up, picked up my book, and ran down the stairs, out of the cafe , half expecting Sid running after me to snatch off my eye balls!!)
It had been 20 minutes since i had come out(rather, chickened out) of the cafe. I went for my wallet. It wasnt there. "Shit! I've been cursed today!!..I must've left it there itself.."
After much altercation with my own self, I decided to go back and face the situation like a man..a man scared out of his wits!!..
I silently walked up the stairs, expecting the worst. I could hear Kiran shouting at the top of her lungs. I took a step back. I took two steps back. then, i waited on the stirway and put my ever curious ear to their talk,again.
Kiran : U never cease to amaze me Sid!! Dont give me tht look, I am being Sarcastic!!..U never listen. We talk and talk and talk, and then, we fight!!!n go on fighting!!..This sucks Sid..I hate this life..
Sid : What have i done?!!..I was calmly trying to persuade Mr. Andrew to change his perception for a moment n look at things my way..He doesnt want to look at it my way. He z taking the same route as u do.
Kiran : Dont u see the point?!! We are both right. U r the troubled one!!..
Andrew : Hey Sid, why dont u just let go of her, let her lead her own life, u go ur way..She wants her god with her, and u cant do a fuck abt it!!..
Sid : Kiran, i dont want u to listem to this guy. He doesnt know shit. Fuck u Andrew!!.
Kiran : Fuck u Sid!!..
Suddenly, Sid takes Kiran by the hand and takes her to the restroom again..Isieze my oppurtunity. I go up, tak my wallet and am abt to run down, when i hear moans from the restroom, again..This time, they are much louder than before..I choose to stay and listen to it..Andrew is as confused as i am!!..
They come out after 11 minutes, Kiran placing her displaced hair back in position, and Sid buckling up his belt.
Kiran ignores Andrew and me(thank god!!), walks rite off to the stairs and down in no time.
Sid comes up to Andrew, and says, "That was even better! thank u so much Andrew!"..
Sid walks past me, saying "Why are u so petrified?!!Im not even gonna touch u!!"..I dont understand..
They both vanish in a matter of seconds. Both Andrew and me have a look of total astonishment on our faces..
Andrew lmanages a smile in due time..He goes back to his booth, heaves a sigh, and starts staring out of the window, half centered his eyes on me.
I, on the other hand, take my wallet, give a puzzled look and start to walk out. Andrew calls out,
"Hey, dont u get it?!! It was never abt god in the first place!!"..
I say, "I know tht! What i dont understand is why i didnt get it when they went in the first time!!"..
We both laugh out loud.
On my recent visit to banglore, I witnessed an interesting incident in Cafe Coffee Day, Brigade road. It was an animated conversation between a couple, who were, experiencing a kind of slump in their love, and a stranger. The whole talk was easily audible to anyone who put in a curious ear in that direction, and I had two!! This is what happened..
Scene -I
She : (with a red face)You know why im pissed of with u?!!U really wanna know that?!!!..U know what, i know u dont wanna know why im angry with u, and thts xactly why im so pissd off!!..
He : (in a surprised manner)what the hell does that mean?..
She : It means, u crazy motherfucker, that u dont care what i feel, u jus want a gal with looks to sit rite besides u, whom u can fuck, and throw insulting remarks with ur crazy out of the world theories, that only i fucking care to discuss!!....I am pissed off bcoz all u do is 'hear' me, not 'listen' to me, when we hav a talk, and then bombard me with all kinda shit that goes against my very fundamental faith in everythng i believ!!..U r never convinced at whatever argument i put thru, u never even care to give it a second thought....I am no stressball mister, which u can press when in trouble and then keep bouncing as n when u please..
He : (a more surprised tone)What are u talkin abt???!!
She : Exactly my point!!..
He : Are u , in any way, trying to say that i DO NOT consider u 'human'?..Coz if u r, u r so very wrong..I respect u, I consider ur body to be the most beautiful in this whole god damn world..I respect ur opinions, bt its just that u r so weak in justifying ur arguments, and u support them with only one supreme fact, "god"!!..And, when u come to think of it, U havnt even been able to convince me of ur almighty's presence too!!..I just want u to have a different perspective at the way u look at things..U look at a beautiful flower and u praise god, u wake up and thank god, u look outside and stand in awe of 'god's 'beauty..But, u dont know what, or who' god is!!..I just wanna show u the different side of the coin, the real side..I want u to wake up and absorb the warmth of the sun, and not be grateful to any supreme being, whoz existence in the first place is in dispute. I want u to look at me and not thank god or the stars for bringing me into ur life. Stars hav nthng to do wth it. They are a result of an 'explosion'!!, which has been scientifically proven. Does ur 'god' have a basic proof of his existence?..I know he doesnt. U know he doesnt. but u r just not ready to believ it. U were brainwashed by ur parents, by the ppl around u, by the ppl who wrote those supposedly 'holy books'..And mind u, they were the same ppl killing those who said the earth was round!!..
I just want u to think, logically!..
She : And what then..I think we have gone thru over and over again and all u hav done is shut me off, always..I dont wanna discuss it nemopre, coz im over it. I just want to te....(he interrupts)
He : When was the last time we ever had a decent conversation?
She : We never had one!..And u wanna know why?..Look at the mirror if u wanna know why..
Suddenly, he takes her to the restroom to their left. He closes the door behind her. I hear some noises, kinda moans, very vague though. they come out in roughly 10 minutes. She comes out first, angry as ever she was, a little less maybe, and takes her seat. He comes out later, stroking his misplaced hair back in position, in a very relaxed and slow manner.
He : See, the thing is, we are goin through a rough patch lately. I called you here to talk to u abt it and get us back to where we were, bcoz, I believe they were the best moments of my life, and urs too....Tell u what, I'll bring u sum coffee to wash ur anger down, and then we'll talk some sense then..I'll hav cappucino, What do u want?..
she : Fuck you!!
He : I'll bring u somethin chilled then, how abt kappi nirvana?..
She : Like i care!!
He : Kappi nirvana, it is then!!..I'll be right back..
(Enter stranger..)
Him : Lady, may i please sit down?..
(Now, this stranger was not above 40, well built, heavy accent, a dignified persona..he was reading 'love in the time of cholera', by gabriel garcia marquez)
(oh yes, one more thing, he was a tourist!! from russia i gues, his accent gave me that impression..oops, srry)
Him : i overheard ur heated conversation from there, with minimal efforts actually, and thought of dropping by to calm things down.
(the 'lady' was a mix between demi moore and catherine zeta jones, a lethal combo!!)
(I hated tht tourist, not bcoz i myself wanted to drop by and say hi to her, but bcoz he blocked my view of her 'bossom'..what lovely pair....it explained clearly why the guy didnt want to let go of her, well, thats what i think!!...and, with her red face and deep pink sensuous lips, she looked so damn hot!!..)
(..newyz..)
She : There isnt much to talk abt in this. He's at fault here , u know, but he wont give in until he reaches his grave..
Him : Then why are u still talkin him into it?..
She : I dont mind trying..
Him : Maybe i can try it out with u..
She : I dont mind, if u tell me why u wud want to do tht..
Him : I am a spiritualist. I am also a yoga instructor, back in russia(so I was right!!). And, i believe in god. Just like u do. I know you are right bcoz i've seen and observed things from closer than any man has ever done. Maybe i can help u and convince ur man.
She : Wow! Be my guest!!!..
(He enters. And, 'he' does have an apetite!!..He brings with him, a cappucino, a kappi nirvana, two chicken grilled sandwiches, with extra cheese, a doughnut the size of her assets, and a scoop of what looks like whipped cream with chocolate wafers!!)
He : I was feeling hungry too. Here's ur drink....and, may i help u mister?...I see tht u dont look like someone we know, and ur color suggests u dont know nebdy in this country altogether!!..How may i help u, and why are u sitting in my chair..
(She giggles, obviously amused at the man's polite murder..)
Him : I just thought i'd drop by n say hi to this beautiful lady, n u ofcourse. And for the record, I do know someone from this country. I learnt my profession here.
He : And what is ur profession anyway..
Him : I am a yoga instructor, in russia.
She : Will u sit down now smart pants, ofcourse, if ur FBI interrogation is over?!!
(He takes a chair from my booth ans sits down, moving the tourist a lil' bit. Enough for me to resume my 'gazing at u-know-wat'..I thanked the guy silently)
He : So, What is ur name mr. yoga instructor?..
Him : My name is Andrew, and that is all u need to know rite now.
She : Hey, why didnt I ask u for tht?!!..Neway, my name is kiran, and this Sidd..(He interrupts, again)..
He : Siddharth, and not very pleased to meet u.
(Now switching to the names..)
Andrew : I dont mind that. I dont see a reson why u shudnt, bt that's ok. I dont really care if u call me dick either!!..what i..
Siddharth : Then we'll call u dick..Suits me fine..
Kiran : Why dont u know when to shut up Sid!!..U continue Andrew, u were saying sumthng..
(I'll go with sid..i'll change andrew's name to dick..after all, he blocked my view, such a d***!!..)
Dick : Yes, ofcourse. So, siddharth, why dont u believ in god?..
Sid : (after weighing his reply)Ok, first of all, U call me 'siddharth'. I let only only those ppl call me 'Sid' who hav a hole and,I hav a permission to enter that hole. I suppose u dont hav the kind i want, so i dont care if u permit me or not. Its 'Siddharth' for u, plain n simple.
Kiran : How did i ever meet u?!!U r such a moron Sid..Look, this man's been kind enough to come up here and offer his presence as he thought he cud be of some help here. Atleast he's better than that silly guy over there whoz been doin nthng bt staring at my boobs the whole time.
(Shit!! she was talkng abt me! She was looking at me!!..Why am i still gazing at her ...?..Shit!shit!shit!...)
(I got up, picked up my book, and ran down the stairs, out of the cafe , half expecting Sid running after me to snatch off my eye balls!!)
It had been 20 minutes since i had come out(rather, chickened out) of the cafe. I went for my wallet. It wasnt there. "Shit! I've been cursed today!!..I must've left it there itself.."
After much altercation with my own self, I decided to go back and face the situation like a man..a man scared out of his wits!!..
I silently walked up the stairs, expecting the worst. I could hear Kiran shouting at the top of her lungs. I took a step back. I took two steps back. then, i waited on the stirway and put my ever curious ear to their talk,again.
Kiran : U never cease to amaze me Sid!! Dont give me tht look, I am being Sarcastic!!..U never listen. We talk and talk and talk, and then, we fight!!!n go on fighting!!..This sucks Sid..I hate this life..
Sid : What have i done?!!..I was calmly trying to persuade Mr. Andrew to change his perception for a moment n look at things my way..He doesnt want to look at it my way. He z taking the same route as u do.
Kiran : Dont u see the point?!! We are both right. U r the troubled one!!..
Andrew : Hey Sid, why dont u just let go of her, let her lead her own life, u go ur way..She wants her god with her, and u cant do a fuck abt it!!..
Sid : Kiran, i dont want u to listem to this guy. He doesnt know shit. Fuck u Andrew!!.
Kiran : Fuck u Sid!!..
Suddenly, Sid takes Kiran by the hand and takes her to the restroom again..Isieze my oppurtunity. I go up, tak my wallet and am abt to run down, when i hear moans from the restroom, again..This time, they are much louder than before..I choose to stay and listen to it..Andrew is as confused as i am!!..
They come out after 11 minutes, Kiran placing her displaced hair back in position, and Sid buckling up his belt.
Kiran ignores Andrew and me(thank god!!), walks rite off to the stairs and down in no time.
Sid comes up to Andrew, and says, "That was even better! thank u so much Andrew!"..
Sid walks past me, saying "Why are u so petrified?!!Im not even gonna touch u!!"..I dont understand..
They both vanish in a matter of seconds. Both Andrew and me have a look of total astonishment on our faces..
Andrew lmanages a smile in due time..He goes back to his booth, heaves a sigh, and starts staring out of the window, half centered his eyes on me.
I, on the other hand, take my wallet, give a puzzled look and start to walk out. Andrew calls out,
"Hey, dont u get it?!! It was never abt god in the first place!!"..
I say, "I know tht! What i dont understand is why i didnt get it when they went in the first time!!"..
We both laugh out loud.
posted by 'Yours truly', at 1:45 AM
4 Comments:
U made me miss my maths hour man!!! This is like phenomenal stuff ... i wonder what the russian was feeling after it all !!!
hey nice one man... wish i could d somethn like dat sometime...(i wanna play sid...)... anyways, good job, and yeah did u by ny chance ask andrew if he got the girl's no....
yeah i noe my humour sucks... but... did u!!!...???
hey..dude..i tell ya wat this is awsome crap i have ever read..though i have read..twas really battery acid for the soul..but i oved d guy and really dint figure out..wat they were actually trying to prove...that was really awssome...hats off, buddy!!!!
did it happen for real or is it just fictiion??interesting to say the least
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