My RoleModel slips!! I slip!!

I thought it as 'just another' wardrobe malfunction that would create a hype and die down wth the next print..But, this is here to stay i guess..

Everyone has role models. I have mine too, and luckily, someone whoz a dear friend and always has time for me whenever im on the lukout for him. I want to be him. I've been wanting that for quite some time now.

Role models are strong. They are men/women of steel and always find energy to clear those final hurdles. They find their own ways to stay in the news(not tht nbdyz complainin). They hav inpenetrable walls in n around them and u always find sumthng in them tht inspires u, always.

My role modelz walls were penetrated. And the worse part is, the unfortunate incident happend rite in front of me! And very recently.

8:20 pm

I was there, watchng cracks developing around him.

He needed help, i offered none.
He was drowning, n i kept fondling with the rope.
He wanted coffee, i gave him the checque..(out of place i know..)..
He cried, n i took out my camera and..click!!

That is all i did. Why, i know not. But i know who did it to him..it was X. But, for sum reason, i dont hate X. Rather, i wouldnt be surprised if X comes to me and justifes its act. And this is the scary part. I hav filled myself wth doubts over my role model, much to my own disappointment.

8:25 pm

He picked himself up. My role model bounced back strongly and took a stand. His eyes were full of rage and anger. He inspired me, again. We went away together, like nthng happened. I had learnt another important lesson.

8:30 pm

It struck me. What if it happens again. Will i again hav clouds of doubt if the situation arose again? That freak moment might be a signal for a whole new perspective of things yet to come. I might doubt his abilites sometime again.

8:35 pm

I'm ashamed. I turned cold when i was needed most. My moment of bravery was 'lost in trans-ition'. Sorry dear friend. I am so fucked up!..

p.s. I have nothing against X. X has nothing to do with this.